Garth’s Groaners – February 11-15, 2019

 In NCI News

Garth’s Groaners are a 100% physician-approved, A-1 prime cure to the winter-blahs.  Or maybe they will make them worse.   Probably make them worse.


I got to thinking over the weekend, and I’ve figured out the only things that matter in this whole wide universe.
They are solids, liquids, gasses and plasma.


I went out for dinner last night with Uncle Billy. He said he wanted to take me to a brand new restaurant where they give you a free bandanna with a meal.
I didn’t think the food was that great.  To make matters worse, he embarrassed me greatly by wearing a napkin on his head through the whole meal.


I got a weird phone call yesterday from the school, and the principal I think the woman said she was the principal told me that my son has been telling lies at school.
I told her to let him know he’s really good at it since I don’t have any kids.


Uncle Billy has recently started up a new job, he’s waiting tables at a fairly fancy restaurant. And things are going well but I figure he’s going to be unemployed by tomorrow. I don’t think his plan to put fake engagement rings in every meal he serves tonight will go over quite as well as he thinks.


What do you call bears without ears?

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Not done laughing yet?  Miss out on last week’s “jokes”?  Find Garth’s Groaners for the previous week here.

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