Garth’s Groaners – February 19-22, 2019

 In NCI News

Garth’s Groaners is a bit abbreviated because of the long weekend.  I’m sure there are people out there who are just a bit more happy because it meant one fewer eye-roll worthy bit of humour.  You’ll have the same experience next week too since I’ll be away on Monday.

Let’s get to it!


I have decided that I will never again donate any money to someone who is collecting for every mile they go in a marathon.
I’m sick of seeing them take the money and run.


Why are the corners of a hockey rink rounded and not 90 degrees?
Because if they were, the ice would melt.


A man gets arrested by police, and they take him down to the station and toss him in an interrogation room.
The man says, “I’m not saying anything would my lawyer present!”
The officer that’s there to interview him replies, “But you are a lawyer…”
And the man goes, “Right!  So where’s my present?”


Someone did something weird to me at the store yesterday.  I’m just walking down an aisle, minding my own business when someone throws a bottle of omega-3 pills at me.
Don’t worry though, my injuries are super fish oil.

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There you go, you made it through another online edition of Garth’s Groaners.  If you’re not done laughing, you can always check out last week’s jokes.

And if you have a joke you’d like me to consider for a future edition of Garth’s Groaners, send it to me by email at


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