Senseless Epiphanies

 In NCI News

That’s what they truly are, but I call it a silly thought.

First of all an Epiphany can be defined as: a sudden profound understanding of something.

Growing up in the north, I quickly realized that you have to make your own fun, if you want it.
So now, I do my best to put a twist on life.

Listed here are a collection of the things that are not widely realized, but they happen all the same.

 

  • Everything is heavy, if you hold it long enough

 

 

  • Give a dog a choice between a million dollars and a chicken wing; the dog will always choose a chicken wing

 

 

  • A hamburger has no front or back. That is, until you bite it

 

 

  • Concrete and Glass; their both mostly made from sand. This means that some skyscrapers are technically just really large sandcastles.

 

 

  • Banjos are guitars with southern accents

 

 

  • I’m pretty sure the goal of technology is to make humans useless

 

 

  • A pizza is just a pie chart that shows you how much pizza you have left

 

 

  • Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re brave enough

 

 

  • Anything can be a boomerang, but only  if you through it straight up.

 

 

  • Will power! There’s only one thing that can match it: Won’t power.

 

 

  • You can drink a drink, but you can’t food a food.

 

 

  • Kool-aid is just water-seasoning

 

  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Philosophy is wondering if ketchup is a smoothie.

 

 

  • The fact that our body breathes for us automatically just means the brain doesn’t trust us to do this on our own.

 

 

  • Regardless of price, Velcro will always be a rip-off

 

 

  • You can’t shake what your mamma gave you if you look like your dad.

 

 

  • People say they take the bus, but in reality? The bus takes you

 

 

  • Labeling something military grade makes it seem really high quality; that is until it comes to food.

 

There, hopefully you’ve enjoyed these, maybe got a little laugh.
To hear more, just listen into the Mid-Day Show 10 a.m to 1 p.m , and I’ll be sure to try make you at least shake your head at the things I say.

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